Of traveled souls and weary flight.

The new XplitShock column was supposed to be put up today, but I've had to delay it as I'm still on the road and traveling. For that, I apologise.

As I type this, I'm sitting on an uncomfortable and barely padded bench in Miri airport, counting down the hours to my flight back home to Kuching. (For the record, it's scheduled for 9.05pm, 3 hours from now. Oh joy). I barely got to see anything of interest in Labuan, due to my own tiredness and the sheer tedium of having to sit through a regional sales meeting. It seemed a nice enough place, and I might pop back over in the future.

My thoughts for the day have centered on two things : future job opportunities, and what to do if I do get one. The question of money is not the main thing, although that is obviously part of the motivation in finding gainful employment. I find myself wondering how, if at all, I'm going to grow. This is all moot, however, should I not find meaningful employment in the fantastically hectic settings of Kuala Lumpur. The yearning for answers to these queries serves to indicate, more than anything else, my intense desire to make something for myself. At least, that's what I believe it to be.

Traveling like this though, with the lonely solitary nights in hotel rooms and the isolationist feel of being on your own, is probably something I won't miss too much regarding my current position of employment. Flying around all the time, being a supposed jetsetter, has its perks. You're part of the jetset, right? But all that solitude.. Sometimes, it just gets too much. Missing loved ones, your kid, your family and friends. It's a special kind of courage that is required to truly make the most of such a situation. To keep on boarding that plane that takes you away from all that you value most and love.

I just want to stay at home with my daughter and play hide-n-seek till I run out of energy. Which will be long before she runs out of hers.

As it is, I'm grateful at least, for this sort of experience. Suffering depravity amplifies the simple mercies that life affords us. Whether it be waking up to the cries of your children making a mess of breakfast, or the oddly comforting sound of your siblings arguing with your parents. I know that my future employment choices will mean that these mercies will be taken from me. I understand the concept of the price that I will be paying in order to find myself. What I probably do not understand yet, is the depth of the price that will have to be paid for that to happen.

Then again, the cost of merely staying in a comfort zone and coasting along in life.. It does not bear thinking about.

The sun has set here in Miri. I consider it a poignant coincidence, as I ponder the sunset of one phase of my life, and the potential dawn of another. The brilliance of such happenings mirror the fantastical parallels that accompany our journey through the different chapters of our existence. In a week when the world's most famous tech company mourned and celebrated the end of an era and the emergence of a new one, I eagerly await the birth of another.

My own.