Of tired minds and old party animals that won't retire.

I was thinking about a lot of things at this late hour. Chief among those concerns was how am I going to make ends meet once I get out there into the real world. I appreciate all that my parents have done for me, and the employment opportunities that have been presented to me by them. Nothing can adequately express the love and gratitude I feel for their role in my life.

It is, however, time to move on.

It was when considering the relative merits of certain money-making ideas that I realised quite belatedly that the weekend is upon us. Whilst I would normally greet such a happening with a quick scroll through the handphone contact list and arrangement of various get-togethers and club-hopping, nothing of the sort happened to me when I woke up earlier today (Friday). All I could think about, was where I was going to find the means to pay my own bills (and of course, meeting special someones).

It was a seismic shift in terms of outlook. I didn't even realise I had gotten so far along this train. Am I glad it has happened? Yes, up to a point.

I enjoy parties as much as anyone can possibly enjoy them. I live it up when I can, with a daughter in tow and other responsibilities to fulfill. It has been the way of the land for me for quite a while now. I was comfortable.. And to quote Incubus, "going nowhere fast." This is a big step for me, and one that I hope to appreciate more in the coming days as I finally, FINALLY, decide to actually grow. It leaves me with one burning question though.

Will I ever be able to experience the highs and happiness of years gone by? Will I be able to appreciate those sorts of moments with the same intensity and elation of yesteryear? Can I possibly hope to find the points in time that have anchored the various periods of my life, that stand out to me as defining benchmarks of how I should feel and emote?

Or will I be too obsessed with moving on quickly to the Next Important Thing, or the New Project that will surely dominate my future life, at the expense of savouring the here and now?

I do not know. One thing is for sure. I invite you all along with me on the ride, to find out.